The Mentalist PTSD
by joycelynk.shaw
Summary: She was so strong yet so weak. The team was not used to it. What happens when Lisbon's present all to well reflects her past? And how will this effect her future? Read in suspense as you dive into Lisbon's rough past.
1. chapter 1

This is my first Mentalist fanfic but I have been a die hard fan since the first premier. I hope I accurately portray the characters. Enjoy !

"Stop please stop. Your hurting me."

Jane jolted in his seat. Lisbon's screaming had awoken him.

"Lisbon?" He stared at her quizzically. Understanding that they had both just endured the horrific events of a car crash he tried not to touch her too roughly.

"Lisbon are you ok?"

" I don't know where we are. Where are we."

"Lisbon we've been in a wreck. A blue Ford hit us from the side. We rolled several time and landed deep into the woods. You will notice that you can't move and there is a sharp pain in your left leg. The door to the drivers seat hit a tree and seems to have penetrated your leg a bit."

Lisbon's temporary state of hysteria was draining and reality swiftly took its place. It was then the severe pain flooded into her leg. It didn't help that in her state outside of herself she just about tore it off trying to break free. She noticed the scars on her consultants body and was reminded to look in the mirror to evaluate her own. A pink-ish red gash rested under her jewel-green eyes. All other cuts were minor.

Jane debated asking her what the freak out was all about. Option 1. leave it alone it's no big deal. Rebuttal, she could be having reoccurring nightmares and what kind of friend would you be if you didn't attempt to help. Option 2. Ask her the details of the reaction. Rebuttal, she could reflect too deeply and shut down, which is no state to be in whilst trying to get out of the fender bender. Option 3. Simply ask if she is ok. Reasoning, if she wants to talk about it she has that option but if she doesn't want to talk about it she can just say that she is fine. Jane went with the latter of the three

"I,m-I'm fine she said," hardly audible. " I was just a little shaken is all.

Jane ignored the weak excuse and moved his hand to her eye. Before the direction of his hand could be detected she shivered. He could read the fear in her eyes.

"Shhh - shhhhh it's ok," he cooed. I'm just examining your gash."

After reading the ok on the receiving side of his hand he lightly touched and quickly searched for her response. Knowing his boss hated to appear as fragile as she was he didn't ask her how bad it hurt. He simply removed his handkerchief and glanced around for a source of water. Lisbon nodes towards her lemon water she had prepared before she left. Jane reached for the bottle and moistens the towelette. Applying it to the wound summoned a harsh shriek from Lisbon.

"Ahhh," she cried out in agony." Though not a mentalist herself she could read the concern all over her consultants face. "I'm ok really let's just focus on getting out of here."

Jane concurred. It was apparent that his shirt and jacket were hooked in a roundabout way to his seat. He removed his shirt, seeing that it was his only option. It did not pass him by that Lisbon was trying to resist the urge to stare and had deliberately looked out side the window to the drivers seat. He grinned to himself and made his way out the car.

Lisbon's attempts to keep her eyes on her lap while Jane struggled with the door was in vain. She thought to herself that he was quite toned for a guy who sat on his couch all day. She glanced every now and again at his strained biceps as he tugged at the door. The latch finally gave and the door popped open. She yelped a tad at the discomfort to her leg. He gave her an apologetic pout, unbuckled her and helped her into his arms. By the time they were free the sun was going down and it was to late to attempt to make it up to the road. They settled in the trunk of the car. The weather was dropping rapidly and much to their misfortune the rain began to fall. Vulgarity fell in a discordant melody out of the mouth of the boss. Jane reassured her that they would be fine and pointed out that every CBI transport had a blanket and kit in the trunk. He nudged it to her with his leg and she pulled out the blanket. the blanket was large enough to comfort they two of them if the sat close enough. They both closed their eyes in efforts to rest, leaning themselves upon each other.

"I'm not tired," Lisbon said twenty minutes later.

"Neither am I," Jane said in agreement.

It had been quiet for at least a minute.

"What was that little episode earlier on today?" Jane asked breaking the silence.

Lisbon had hoped he had forgotten all about it, but she knew he wouldn't. She sat quiet for a while deciding how much she wanted to share with him exactly. Knowing he was waiting she didn't waste any more time.

" I have some issues, she sighed. Night terrors or something of that sort. The medical terminology is PTSD. It only developed not too long ago, when we were introduced to that sex trafficking case. And I'm still pissed we don't have another lead."

Jane noticed her switching the subject as a means to recover from a bitter moment. It was clear she wasn't fond of talking about any thing that would make her seam weak.

"PTSD he hummed, so trauma?"

When he received no answer or sign of recognition he coaxed.

"Is this from your dad and the loss of your mother."

"No she replied"

Jane was truly confused. He knew Lisbon's mother had died in a drunk driver accident and her father had turned to drinking and violence but he had know idea that that was only the beginning.

Well I hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are always loved and appreciated.

~joycelyn


	2. Breakdown

"So your saying you couldn't identify any of the men that were involved?" Lisbon asked trying to hide her frustration.

The eight year old girl sat on the opposing side of the interrogation table. She was in shock and that made it difficult for her to answer Lisbon's questions.

"Tiffany, I know this is hard but we just want to help you. But in order to do that we need you to help us."

"I'm sorry, I just- I can't tell you"

Lisbon stood up and kicked her chair to the wall that was behind her. She glared into Tiffany's eyes and through her folder and almost empty note pad on the the table. She instantaneously regretted it after seeing the already disturbed child jolt and frown at her anger. Lisbon was beginning to fly off the handles so she dismissed herself immediately. Ignoring her coworkers' faces of confusion she stormed to her office. But leave it to the consultant to infiltrate her work place and probe at her mind.

"I don't want to talk about it," she barks.

" Ok," Jane complies. " So I'll talk about it and all you have to do is listen.

Lisbon felt her chest tighten. She did not like to talk about emotional things especially ones pertaining to her, and she definitely didn't like them being revealed to her by others. But Jane continued in spite of that fact.

" This case is aggravating you more so then the rest. You feel a special connection with this case. You weren't mad at Tiffany you were mad for her. You just don't know how to express that. And because this case is so aggravating to you it has reactivated your PTSD.

"My PTSD is always active." She replied having nothing else to defend because everything else he said was True.

" Lisbon there is something your not telling me"

"Jane your my consultant and I'm your boss."

"Yes but I'm also your friend and you are mine too. My best friend. All I want to do is help you. But I can't do that. Not when you have walls and voides. And take it from someone who knows, they are no fun.

Lisbon sighed. She stood up and drug her feet to the couch, seeing it was fit for a conversation of this sort. Jane grinned and scooted over a bit. His small grin vanished as he saw a now more sad Lisbon walk to him.

"As you probably know my mom died when I was twelve. She sighs and looks down at the floor."

Jane wandered if she would ever develop the courage to look him in the eye

"Well mom was the worker in the family and without her we had no money. Dad had to go to work and the combined stress of a brand new work experience and the loss of his wife just proved to be too much I guess. He turned to drinking and it completely changed him. He was getting fired from job after job yet still he wouldn't quit. Instead he went to more extreme ways of relieving stress, drugs. He had told my brother and I that we needed to start picking up small jobs around town or he would have to give us up because we were costing him too much. The twins got a job as the paper boys, and the other worked at a Chick-fil-A. My dad said that I was the brightest and it would be best that I focused on my school. The boys jobs obviously weren't making enough so I had to work to.

"What was your job?* Jane asked. He knew she was getting to that but he wanted to show he was listening. He also searched for a way to get her to look at him. Reading someone is a lot harder when you don't have their eyes to look at. Especially Lisbon's. Her eye spoke more than she did some days.

" Um he figured that I wasn't going to boost the income much with a minimum wage job so he. He umm. He had other plans for me."

"And what were those?" Jane asked softly trying not to push too hard but understanding that some pushing was

necessary.

"He... She stopped to clear her throat and hold back tears. " He figured that if he sold my body he could charge what ever he wanted. He tried to reassure me with the fact that there were going to be rules that these men we called customers had to follow. He promised me that they would only be people he knew and trusted. But it did not remain that way for long."

Lisbon broke out into tears unable to continue. She preferred not to cry in front of people, especially not Jane but she had never really allowed her self to cry about this. The cries were loud and uncharacteristic. Her face began to burn and she instinctively turned away. Jane couldn't get her to turn around so he got up and walked quickly to the other side of her. He

grabbed her hand softly and rested his hand on her cheek. She looked him in the eye but found no effective way to stop the tears. He watched as he allowed her tears to wet his hand. He, lost in her emotions, lost in her green eyes had completely forgotten what he was going to say. He was at a loss for words. They stared into each other's eyes and oddly enough it didn't feel awkward to any of them.

"Oh Teresa, I'm sorry," he finally muttered. He allowed her to bury herself in his neck. She was still crying uncontrollably but at least now she had someone to confide in.

The team grew concerned as they heard their strong and fierce boss whaling.

"Should we do something?" Rigsby asked the rest of the team.

"No." Cho replied. Jane has got this one.

"Yeah," Grace agreed. All of that crying is probably good for her.

Thank you so much for reading. Your comments and votes are always appreciated. Also first commenter gets a shout out and follower.

~ Jocelyn


	3. Interrogation and Tears

"Lisbon," High tower knocked on the door.

Lisbon knew she was only interrupting to ask for an apology on behalf of Tiffany. It was true that she'd had misbehaved and it offended her. Tiffany is so young and scared and she knew exactly how that felt.

"Come in," Lisbon replied.

"Now Lisbon, I know it's is frustrating, Hightower reasoned. But she is a lot to girl, she doesn't feel safe talking about this. It's your job to go in there apologize, and make her feel safe enough to confide in you.

Lisbon thought to herself for a second.

"What seems to be the problem," Hightower asked genuinely concerned.

I don't know how to get her to trust me.

"Well you've told Jane things right? What made you trust him?

"I could relate to him I guess."

"Ok can this girl relate to you?"

~~~~In The Interrogation Room~~~~

"Look," Lisbon sighed. I did something really mean earlier on today. And Im sorry for yelling at you, that wasn't fare. But I do want to help you.

"Are you still mad at me," the little girl asked slightly peaking up from under the table.

"No, I promise"

Tiffany straightened up in her seat. Her eyes wondered to the ground before making there way to Lisbon's.

" Um well I kinda don't know the words to explain it really. It was weird and it hurt"

"That's ok," Lisbon replied pondering her next step.

Lisbon took a breath to reassure herself. And looked into Tiffany's eyes.

"Sweetie, I'm going to tell you a story, my story. And if anything sounds familiar than you can tap my hand ok?."

"Ok."

Lisbon rested her intertwined fingers on the table in front of her. She never thought she would be this nervous. But she was. Her face was going red and her hands were shaking.

"Um... My father used to be the best. But then my mommy died."

Lisbon almost jumped when the little fingers tapped her. Her little pink glitter nail polish reminded her of an innocence that should never know the pain of losing a mother.

"After she died he stared getting really sad, and angry. Sometimes he would come home smelling really bad. And if I didn't do what he said he would hit me."

"Tap"

Lisbon busied herself with notes then continued her story.

Eventually I would be in um... Situations were other people would hurt me to.

"Tap"

"When they would hurt me sometime they would hit. But sometimes they would do other things.

"Tap"

"Do you mind if we star t with some questions.

"No," said the little girl as st pushed her thick curly locks aside.

"Did you father give you to these bad guy?"

"No, I was taken from him"

"And when you were taken were you alone?"

" Um I was playing out side with my dollies. I put then in the stroller and we went for a walk around the house. Then they took me and put me in a truck with lots of other girls."

Lisbon couldn't help internally grin at the Tiffany's extremely cute lisp mixed with the natural rasp that characterized her voice.

"Did they ever touch you, how should I do this? Um did they ever touch you hear or hear?" she gesturing to pants zipper and the pockets on her shirt.

"No but the other men did." She replied. And hurt a lot. And they said we couldn't tell anyone.

She started to whimper, her brown eyes rounding up tears. Lisbon jumped out of her seat this time to comfort her. She wrapped her arms around her as Tiffany's whimpers evolved into sobs.

"It ok." Lisbon whispered. Your ok now. Your safe now."


End file.
